In loving memory of Manual Trading ❤️
Manual Trading, age 150, passed away peacefully in 2025 after a long battle with artificial intelligence.
A Life Well-Lived (Sort Of)
The cause of death was determined to be algorithmic precision combined with 24/7 execution capabilities that human reflexes simply couldn't match.
Born in the late 1800s on trading floors filled with shouting brokers, Manual Trading lived a full life of emotional decision-making, coffee-fueled all-nighters, and the occasional spectacular blow-up that wiped out entire portfolios.
The trouble started in the 1990s when Manual Trading's rebellious son, Quant Trading, came of age. Quant Trading kept insisting on things like "statistical significance" and "risk-adjusted returns," which Manual Trading found deeply offensive. Their relationship never recovered from the great Sharpe Ratio argument of 1996.
Manual Trading is survived by its devoted followers who still believe "gut feelings" can outperform statistical models, as well as its estranged son Quant Trading (age 40) and grandchild AI Trading (age 10).
The family relationship was complicated. Quant Trading spent decades trying to teach Manual Trading about backtesting and risk management, while AI Trading kept offering to automate everything. Manual Trading stubbornly insisted on doing things "the human way" until the very end.
The Golden Years
In its prime, Manual Trading was known for its ability to turn rational investors into gamblers who confused luck with skill.
Manual Trading pioneered the art of:
- Buying high and selling low with unwavering consistency
- Convincing practitioners they possessed mystical market intuition
- Turning perfectly good money into valuable life lessons
- The sacred 3 AM trading session fueled by energy drinks and regret
Its greatest achievement was convincing generations of traders that staring at charts for 16 hours straight was somehow more effective than letting mathematics handle the heavy lifting.
Those Left Behind
Manual Trading leaves behind:
- Countless blown accounts that could have funded nice vacations instead
- Stress-induced health problems from watching red candles
- Epic stories that begin with "I was up 400% until..."
- A generation who learned the hard way that the market doesn't care about feelings
- One very disappointed son (Quant Trading) who spent decades saying "I told you so"
The family includes day traders who still trust their "market feel," retail investors convinced they can time tops and bottoms, and trading gurus selling $2,000 courses on reading tea leaves.. - sorry, price action.
Quant Trading released a statement: "I tried to teach proper position sizing and Monte Carlo simulations, but Dad kept insisting his 'intuition' was better than my regression models. At least he's finally at peace... and can't lose any more money."
Final Words
Manual Trading's last words were reportedly: "But what about market intuition?"
AI Trading, who was present at the bedside, responded with a consistent 0.3% daily return.
Manual Trading tried to argue, but AI Trading had already executed 47,000 trades while Manual Trading was still deciding whether that pattern was a bull flag or just wishful thinking.
Quant Trading quietly mentioned something about Sharpe ratios, but nobody was listening.
Memorial Service
A memorial service will be held at the New York Stock Exchange, though attendance is expected to be light since most participants are now busy programming their replacement systems or working normal jobs with steady paychecks.
Manual Trading's son, Quant Trading, and grandchild, AI Trading, were notably emotionless at the service - though to be fair, that's kind of their thing. AI Trading was heard quietly optimizing the funeral logistics in real-time.
The family requests that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to index funds - like your financial advisor has been suggesting for years.
Remembering Manual Trading
Manual Trading taught us that:
- The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent
- "Diamond hands" is often just expensive stubbornness
- Sometimes the best trade is the one you don't make
- Algorithms don't get hangovers or have strong opinions about cryptocurrency
- Backtesting beats gut feelings, but nobody wanted to hear it
Manual Trading (1875-2025) went out the same way it lived - making one last emotional decision and refusing to adapt until it was too late.
Rest in peace, old friend. The market will miss your dramatic flair, even if our portfolios won't.
At autotradelab, we're helping Manual Trading's legacy live on in a healthier way - by building systems that capture the human creativity of strategy development while letting AI handle the emotionless execution part. Think of it as therapy for Manual Trading's dysfunctional family.
Plot twist: Manual Trading actually died years ago, but its followers kept Weekend-at-Bernie's-ing it by propping up its corpse at trading desks and moving its mouse every few minutes to avoid the screensaver.